Nutritional Statement:
I have decided that company employees do not eat enough bananas.
I have looked at them, and they are deficient. Most notably, they
have not grown proper tails. I myself have a magnificent tail, and
I suspect it is because I eat plenty of bananas. So I recommend
that all employees supplement their diet by at least 12 additional
bananas per day. (Tigey is an exceptional employee, and this
advisery does not apply to him. He has a good tail already, so
he's probably eating enough bananas.)
Monkey, Nutritional Adviser
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