Infrequently Asked Questions (IAQ's)
How frequently do you rotate your tires?
Every time I drive the car the tires rotate.

If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
If I knew the answer to that, I'd share it and we could both be rich.  And smart!

Why are bluebirds protectively colored for blue skies, while seagulls are protectively colored for cloudy skies?
Some birds have all the luck.

How do you build a ray-gun?
I like to start with a Roentgen ray cathode tube, and run it through a Jacob's ladder a few times to excite the molecules a bit extra. Then I build a plastic handle with a few tubes and buttons on it, and a part that seems like it might point somewhere.  There are still a few bugs to work out.

Do you know what an appositive is?
No. But I looked it up, so the answer is:    Of, relating to, or being in apposition.  n. Grammar:   A word or phrase that is in apposition.  ap·posi·tive·ly adv.
I think I'm in theoretical opposition to the appositive position, but I'm not appositively positive.  It's possible that I used to know what an appositive was, since I'm the one asking the questions, because if I didn't ask them,  there wouldn't even be these infrequently asked questions.  Either way, the answer is currently still--No, I don't know what an appositive is.  I may worry about it.

Do you worry about asking stupid questions no one will want to read the answer to?
Yes, it's ruining my life and I can't sleep nights and I'd tell myself to stop this and get a life, but I've already got one (even though it's becoming ruined).  What's more, I'm worried that if I ask stupid questions, that implies I'm stupid, which might also explain why I'm not rich.  I won't even go into the issue of what it means to give stupid answers, beyond the axiomatic "Ask a stupid question..."

My Squirreline 2300 printer makes little Aztec characters appearing on all the pages.  Is this covered by the warranty?
Take out the ink cartridges and reinstall them upside down.  If the printed sheets  now resemble Chinese pictographs, then this is probably the result of using generic nonSquirreline inks.  The mistake is irreversible.  Change careers, leave your significant others, and invest in commodity futures.

If you can think of an infrequently asked question, I'll be happy to attempt to answer it.
Send it to