Welcome to
the new Stream of Consciousness fiction blog.
A serial adventure in
fiction by Brad Sondahl
Click on the day of the week for the current
selection,
or an earlier day if you missed an installment for the week.
Previous
weeks are listed at the bottom of the page
Being that I am running for president as the common person's
choice by default, since I am the poorest candidate running, I
suppose I should capitalize on this position by making a few modest
proposals, such as to reverse the rich/poor gap trend of the last
many years and rob from the rich to give to the poor.
Unfortunately this strategy doesn't lead to large donations to
the campaign chest, which is no doubt why no one else is suggesting
this as a part of their platform. However, since I'm committed to
running a low cost campaign, this will not deter me from speaking my
mind to the American people, and my foreign supporters.
The concept is really very simple. If larceny of the rich is
legalized, the poor will be able to help themselves by stealing from
the rich. This will match a lot of people's natural inclinations
anyway, but since it will be legalized they won't end up clogging the
prison system. If Bill Gates were to keep a swimming pool filled with
cash, people could fill wheel barrows with it for a very long time
before he would have to get worried about his foundation foundering.
The effects would be self limiting, in that if a burglar were
too greedy, he would jump to the next bracket, so to speak, and become
eligible for larceny as well. The best thing about this is that
taxes would not need to be raised to pay for the program, so it should
be supported by the Republicans as well as the Democrats (who've
traditionally gone in for this sort of thing). And it represents
private enterprise taking over government bureaucracy, much like the
defense contractors have taken over the federal treasury. It's
fortunate that Robin Hood has already given this whole idea some
credence and good press... Besides, they threw great parties out
in Sherwood Forest.
The war in Iraq is, of
course, a very complicated situation, requiring a very complicated
solution. However, the fact is that our money has been wasted on
trying to buy bureaucrats and military supplies and whatnot. I
still wish we'd found the Lost Treasure back in Chapter 19. It
should never have been in bales of currency, which was just too
tempting. If it were only in $1000 wads with those nice little
paper loops around them, we would have done better just letting
the Iraqis line up for individual bribes, or hiring them to go shopping
in the US with free trips included. That would have supplied 8.8
million (or about 1/3 of the population) of them with $1000 apiece in
good will. This would have had a good effect on the US economy
too, as they would be spending the money right here. It is
possible that we've already hired one half of the Iraqis to shoot at
the other half, in one of those little bureaucratic snafus that happen
in a war (Catch-22). As it is, if we can't beat a little country
like Iraq without building massive debt, it's looking like we're
going to have to get out of the military business.
Use this chart to find the next of the cartoons (first 47 entries) or the stories (starting with 1 A River Too Far 5 rows below week 8)
